Panic!

I am startled awake, my hands sweaty, my heart seemingly running a marathon on its own, my chest heaves up and down as I try to catch my breath.  I have a knot in my stomach, I know something is different…
My eyebrows furrow and I lower my head as I try to gain my senses.  Think Heather,  think! I am becoming more aware of my surroundings.  I see the sun peering through the crack in the blinds reminding me of the time.  The empty spot on the bed next to me makes me curious.  Where did he go?
Wait a minute, it starts to occur to me.  Its silent, absolutely silent! I wonder where everyone is.  Then it hits me…
THEY ARE BACK IN SCHOOL!  And Mommy got a nap wohoo!  Albeit abruptly ended but hey, I’ll take it!

Oh Happy Day!

Yes, today was the day! Three of my little cherubs went off to school. Once I got them all dropped off I went back home with the little guy and we danced a little jig. I will be dancing a bigger jig when he starts on Tuesday.

Just imagine it with me…
A time where all children are happily learning in their classrooms, taken care of, not lacking for anything, not needing mommy to rush home for some thing or other. Time alone moms! TIME ALONE! Yes, you can dare to dream with me, for those of you with little ones that wear you out to your very core, hang tight! They eventually all go to school!

Now before some of you get all self righteous on me, I’m not talking to you anyway so, move along. I’m talking to the mothers of those that have no off button. The little ones (and sometimes big ones) that never give their parents a break. They are the ones you see giving mom fits in the grocery store. Yes sometimes it really is more than horrible parenting so please spare us your judgmental looks and snide remarks and just be thankful for your perfectly compliant children. Some of us were blessed with those that don’t conform, they dance to their own drummer, they are their own person. Its wonderful when they are older, but these little ones are hellions to raise. Even for the best intentioned parents.

So I thought today that I would just be in bliss all day and everything would be like experiencing it for the first time again. But really… in reality… my happiest moment was when it dawned on me that I can pee with the door open again! Hey some of us just like a little freedom! Its liberating, try it!

Back to School - Sweet Salvation

I think I am on the verge of insanity.  I would have to be to raise four children all with their own little (big!) issues that make life so interesting and well... chaotic!

It currently sounds like World War II behind me.  Close your eyes and visualize with me.  Three boys (15, 11, and almost 3) talking, yelling at the X-Box, running in circles and standing in front of said brother that is trying to game.  Maybe there is a ball being thrown around behind me?  I refuse to turn around to look.  Mommy is blogging (la la la).

Then there is my daughter...my lone girl.  You wouldn't know it though, she plays as rough as the boys.  (Guess you have to when you have brothers).  She's a little mini mommy, its cute, she teaches her little brother his colors and numbers and such.

Have you ever longed for something so badly that you dream about it at night and it consumes nearly all your thoughts?  You find yourself distracted with other things because you are busy willing this thing to happen?  Yeah me too, that's how I feel about school.  (Come sweet salvation, come!)

The little one in all his sensory-seeking glory gets to start preschool this year.  I'm pretty sure I danced a rhythm-less little jig in the school office when they said all his papers were filled out and he's registered.  I couldn't help it, I lost control for a second, just a second.

I find myself waking at night from sheer excitement over the blessed day coming.  Counting the days, I cross them off on the calendar and tell the children its because I'm so excited for them to start another year and meet new friends and have new experiences (blush).  When in reality...I just can't wait for an hour and a half off every day where the little one is in preschool!

The very first thing I will do is run around the house naked I'm sure.  Don't worry, I'll close the blinds first.  (Hopefully I don't forget!)  Then when I catch a glimpse of my hasn't-been-seen-naked-in-awhile body I'll probably cry but then I will blend the largest coffee I've ever made and drink it shamelessly with whip cream and chocolate drizzle and any other sinful edible I can find.  Ahh how I dream of that day!

*bubble pops*

But I guess for now I better go play referee again (seriously I should get paid) and I'm pretty sure the baby is on top of the table now so... ta ta!